Nuevo California

Ne znam pratite li američke predsjedničke izbore? Osobno ih pratim onako usput, tim više što gotovo svakodnevno barem kratko bacim pogled na CNN, Yahoo i još nekoliko američkih news site-ova. Za mene je to gotovo kao da gledam/čitam kakvu humorističnu seriju/knjigu. Nažalost, radi se o nečemu ipak puno ozbiljnijem i opasnijem.

Zanimljivo mi je njihov naćin praćenja i zapravo koliko žara amerikanci pridaju svojim predsjedničkim izborima, ali neću se sada zamarati analizom američke kulture i medija.

Zapravo od svega su mi najzabavnije one njihove tipične zafrkancije na račun svega i svačega, čega su puni YouTube, a da o blogovima niti ne govorim. Sretan sam što će ipak skoro i tomu doći kraj, jer se gotovo ništa više ne može niti pročitati, samo Obama i McCain. I naravno Sarah Palin.
Iako sam bio u velikom iskušenju staviti koji klip s YouTube-a, ipak sam se odlučio za nešto što me je možda još više nasmijalo.

AN OPEN LETTER TO ALL THE RED STATES FROM ALL THE BLUE STATES

Dear Red States,

If you manage to steal this election too we've decided we're leaving.

We intend to form our own country, and we're taking all the Blue States with us.

In case you aren't aware, that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois, and all the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all of the slave states.

We get stem cell research and the best beaches.

We get the Statue of Liberty.

You get Dollywood.

We get Intel and Microsoft.

You get Papa John's Pizza and all the cigarette companies.

We get Harvard.

You get Ole' Miss.

We get 85% of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs.

You get Alabama.

We get two-thirds of the tax revenue; you get to make the red states pay their fair share for the first time ever.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22% lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families.

You get a bunch of single moms.

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once.

If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home.

We do wish you success in Iraq , and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80% of the country's fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of the nation's fresh fruit, 95% of America's quality wines, 90% of all cheese, 90% of the high tech industry, 95% of the corn and soybeans (thanks Iowa!), most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy League and Seven Sister colleges plus Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92% of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you very much.

Additionally, 38% of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62% believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the war, the death penalty or gun laws, 44% say that evolution is only a theory, 53% that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61% of you crazy fucks believe you are people with higher morals than us lefties.

Finally, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico

Peace out,
Blue States

(via Bill in Exile)

Izgleda da je pobjeda Obame gotovo pa done deal. Čini se da bi Amerika konačno opet mogla dobiti normalnog predsjednika. Meni je to također drago, ne samo zbog toga što se radi o kandidatu Demokratske stranke, nego su u pitanju i rasistički razlozi, već ranije spomenuh moje crne korijene.

U isto vrijeme me je i strah, strah da se sve to skupa neće dobro završiti za Obamu, ali i za sve nas. Sjetite se samo kako je prošao Martina Luthera King. Rasizam je u Americi itekako prisutan, a očito je da je ta država prepuna raznoraznih ekstremista, kako organiziranih tako i onih koji djeluju na svoju ruku.

Mislim da su šanse poprilične da se slično nešto ponovno dogodi, a kakve bi mogle biti posljedice teško je uopće predvidjeti. Sjetite se nemira po crnačkim kvartovima Los Angelesa iz 90-tih, nakon što je policija zaustavila i pretukla crnca zbog prebrze vožnje. Nije teško zamisliti novi građanski rat u Americi kada bi crni predsjednik bio ubijen od strane bijelca. To je zapravo optimistička prognoza, jer je vrlo vjerojatno da bismo i svi mi u to na neki način bili uvučeni.

A stoput sam si rekao da se neću opterećivati i razmišljati o stvarima nad kojim nemam nikakvog utjecaja.